GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

May 30, 2003

'Great things happen by accident'

Sophie B. Hawkins wishes to follow the spirit that moves her

by Robin Renée

For Sophie B. Hawkins, life is an open question. By her own assessment, to live in a state of openness to change and movement is not always the easiest way to be, but it is the one she knows. She even grants an interview in motion-from her cell phone in her truck on the way back from rehearsal, then walking along the streets of Venice, California.

She speaks with friendly exuberance, with phrases sometimes circuitous as she weaves toward clarity. She approaches her upcoming tour with a curious sense of mystery. Choosing not to keep up with shows booked or travel plans, she affords 'herself no worries.

Hawkins rose to public awareness with her 1992 hit "Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" from her debut album Tongues and Tails. The song earned her a Grammy nomination for Best New Artist, but the original video was banned by MTV, though to this day she is not sure why.

"Maybe it was what I was wearing. Record companies never tell you what's going on. They always keep you guessing," Hawkins reflects with subdued frustration.

Whaler (1994) featured the smooth adult contemporary single "As I Lay Me Down," which spent one of the longest running times on any Billboard chart at 67 weeks.

Hawkins' manager, filmmaker Gigi Gaston filmed a provocative documentary on her, The Cream Will Rise, in 1996. The film captures concert footage, along with the performer's complex emotional world and difficult background.

Her third and most recent album, Timbre, could easily have never been released. Sony executives delayed it, believing that the banjo on the single "Lose Your Way" should be replaced by a more conventional guitar. Hawkins dug her heels in to fight for her artistic vision.

Fans mobilized, called themselves the "Cracker Army," and lobbied the company to release the album as is. Finally, it did so in 1999, and an expanded version appeared on Rycodisc in 2001.

The artist now urges the "Cracker Army" to mobilize their energy toward environmental and animal rights causes.

"Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover" was mildly controversial during its recording when Hawkins refused to change the gender reference in her picturesque, erotic lyrics: "I sat on the mountainside with peace of mind/And I lay by the ocean making love to her/with visions clear."

However, her candor left her open to new questions. When a New York Times reporter asked, "Are you gay?" in her first major interview, she had never before defined her sexuality. At the time, she was involved with a man-her much older African drum teacher. She was aware of her attraction to women, but deep, loving relationships with women were still in the future. "Omnisexual," she recalls, "was a feel-

'Omnisexual means that I am singularone person, not a fragment. When I wrote 'I am everything' in 'Damn,'

this is [one of the things] I meant.'

ing that came. I was on the spot." She rebuffs the misconception that the word bisexual sometimes brings-that it signifies a kind of split identity or fractured existence.

"Omnisexual means that I am singularone person, not a fragment," she says, regardless of the identity of her partner. "When I wrote 'I am everything' in ‘Damn,' this is [one of the things] I meant."

Hawkins knows truth when she finds it; it is a core quest for her in all aspects of life. "Truth is hard for a lot of people," she observes. "If your intention is to live truthfully to yourself, you are never quite sure what will happen."

Her list of those who have moved her by

their truth is eclectic: Nina Simone, Virginia Woolf, Vincent Van Gogh, Laura Nyro, and Alan Watts, interpreter of Eastern spirituality, are among them. She cites David Bowie as a powerful early influence. His sense of romance and world vision, especially on songs from his Hunky Dory and Diamond Dogs albums, combined with his gender fluidity were an entrancing combination.

There is a new Sophie B. Hawkins CD completed. One tentative title is Sweet Cantaloupe, though that is far from settled. In the meantime, four or five new songs can be heard at live performances, like Cleveland Pride on June 21, where she co-headlines with Blu Cantrell.

Tired of the confining nature of major record labels, she is seeking an independent label where the project will be "supported and really embraced."

Most of all, Hawkins seeks a creative home where she can follow the spirit that moves her. She believes that greater commercial success often comes to those who flatten their messages, a choice she rejects. "Why do we have to plot our courses for everyone?" she asks. "That's not how great things happen. Great things happen by accident."

Her unique path, though not always smooth, will likely lead the free-spirited artist to many more happy accidents. ✔

Robin Renée is a freelance writer and singer-songwriter living in southern New Jersey. Her most recent CD is "All Six Senses," and she can be reached via her web site, www.robinrenee.com.